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The Day I Fell into the Pool

This is just a short snippet into my life. I’m not that old (I’m still adjusting to my 40s, thanks

very much) and I thankfully don’t have much in the way of health issues, but I do have a dicey

knee that flares up when we get pretty bad storms (it’s the change in air pressure they create…I

think…that makes it more achy than normal).

How did I get a bum knee? Well, I fell in a pool in Texas. When we lived there (I have another

little write up on where I’ve lived…it’s floating around here somewhere), we had a pool in the

backyard. Didn’t use it much because when it was pool season, the air temp was like 110º, so the

water was like…95º. Which, for Mrs. Richardson is AMAZING. She’s always cold. For me, it

was a giant, non-bubbly hot tub. Yuck. I’d rather take a cold shower. I mean seriously. I hate

being sweaty. And in that part of east Texas, you got plenty of humidity that would give Florida

a run for its money…

Anyway, one evening, I remember it clear as day, I was out doing my weekly chores around the

pool, cleaning the black widows out of the damn drain covers, topping off the water lost through

evaporation during the previous few days, and adding the chlorine and shock around the pool. I

was almost done, having survived the black widows (did I mention how much I absolutely

HATE $%#*ing bugs and spider?) and was finishing my walk around the pool sprinkling

chlorinated pixie dust into the water to keep it clear when my flip-flopped foot went down and

kept going. Right past the edge of the pool.

I remember the incident with crystal clarity, including the sickening sensation of falling

uncontrollably and knowing there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it, except to twist my

body in the air — in the split second I realized what was happening — and attempt to sitck the

landing with my other foot. I came close. I almost got my entire foot on teh side of the pool,

which, leaning back as I was, would have worked. Instead, the edge of my right foot slipped off

the edge and the entire length of my lower leg scraped against the concrete going down. When

the side of my knee impacted the edge, I opened my mouth to scream and got a mouthful of hot

water and fresh pixie dust.

The fire from my knee and leg was only matched by the sudden, intense heat from my shorts

pocket. Turns out, my phone did not like the hot pool water any more than I did. I shot to the

surface, sputtering and cursing and flopping around until I slapped my phone on the pool deck

and hauled my dumb ass out of the pink-tinted water. Yeah, I noticed that as I climbed out of the

deep end. I sliced open my leg like I used a mandolin as a knee pad and left a crimson trail in the

water and on the pool deck and the sidewalk back to the house.

Here’s where it’s funny. I get to the back door (it’s locked of course, because I came out of the

garage with the chemicals) and Mrs. Richardson was inside reading a book in the living room.

She hears me pounding on the door and comes to see what the stramash is about and finds me

soaking wet and looking miserable. Thinking I fell into the pool (which I did) she starts laughing

as she unlocks the door and lets me in. Only then did she see the blood and find me shaking (I

was super cold all of a sudden, though it was like body temperature air outside).

Long story short, the next day, I went to my doctor and after some initial tests, was sent for an X-

Ray…he wanted an MRI but the machine was evidently made by the same people who make

McDonald’s ice cream machines. When he got teh results back, he shook his head and said I

should have saved myself the trouble and just broken the knee. It would have healed faster. It

took the better part of that year to recover to the point that it didn’t make me wince to walk (I

had to use a cane for close to 2 months and hated every second of it…probably should have used

it longer but I just couldn’t take it). At the time, my day job was in retail management, so I was

on my feet like 12—14 hours every day. Ice packs and Advil were my dear, dear friends that


Eventually the wound healed and I could walk and run and play with all the other reindeers. And

while Santa never called me to come guide is sleigh through the fog, whenever a storm rolls

through that drops the pressure (hurricanes and the quick, nasty storms that bring blizzards and

tornados) my knee stiffens up and I creak and grimace going up and down the stairs (making my

kids laugh…until I show them the scar on my leg and then two run screaming and the third goes


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